She arrived by sea
In the belly of a ship
Three little boys
And a baby on her hip
Little Mama Truckey
Barely 4 foot two
Kicked out of Europe
Now she’s gunning for you.
She had herself
A sweet little gang
Four little monsters
For the price of a bang
Satan’s boy scout troop
With an evil den mother
Doing bad deeds
Each worse than his brother
Calvin joined later
Ran away barely alive
Beaten for pimping his sister
At a pool-and-beers dive.
To earn merit badges
They’d filter through town
Theft, larceny, blackmail,
Or just a simple beat down
If a store keep refused
To pay for protection
He might find a knife
Sticking from his midsection.
The townsfolk were shocked
When the boys went to college
To do greater evil
They needed more knowledge
Two ran for office
And two became bankers
The perfect careers
For souls pocked with cankers
All except Calvin
Held back as Ma’s sitter
And to run herd on the locals
But he began to grow bitter.
As old Ma Truckey
Watched her empire grow
With a front-row seat
For the world’s worst show
The four favorite sons
Grew rich and gained power
With Calvin stuck at home
Despondent and sour
Until finally one day
Calvin turned them all in
And cashed in their chits
For a backstabber’s win.
With the Truckeys behind bars
Calvin had them all shivved
And took all their earnings
To see how the other half lived
He ate and he drank
Until his liver exploded
Bought a new one from China
Because he was loaded
Then he bought up more organs
And had them put them on ice
Like a well-prepared boy scout
“Because I’m naughty, not nice.”