As Punter arrived for his shift, he saw his floor boss outside muttering to himself and smoking more aggressively than usual. “What’s up boss?” “That idiot upstairs. He doesn’t know molasses from his asshole.” Although haunted by the image his boss had conjured, Punter understood he was lamenting Augustus Zuckerstiefel Junior, the current president of … Read moreSweet Affliction
Ronald used a nickel minted in 1974 to remove the ink from a ten-thousand dollar scratch-off lottery ticket. He turned the coin into a necklace that cost three thousand dollars and spent the rest of his winnings on a party to celebrate his windfall. The necklace had a special gold mounting so he could pop … Read moreNickel and Dime
Bobby’s clothes smelled like greasy food. He went out for a burger yesterday and the sour smoke from the grill still lingered. The burger wasn’t great, but good enough. And the beers helped. Bobby wasn’t used to eating alone so squeezed into a corner seat out of the other patrons’ view. His buddy Tim had … Read moreNever Alone for Long
Leonard woke to find himself encased head to toe in a plaster cast. He’d seen body wraps like it on TV, usually involving a guy with an itchy nose, but didn’t think they actually used them anymore. He didn’t remember any accident or injury but did recall a plan to an after-hours club with his … Read moreCasting About
Joel hadn’t had a good idea in some time. His blood-seeking wasps were rejected by the military. His cabbage-fueled car got excellent mileage but the odor of farts inside the car was overwhelming. His proposal for a three-legged horse, which he pointed out, would offer improved stability, never got past the planning stage. He was … Read moreRePeeled
Bennie and Rob had passed by the empty lot hundreds of times. They’d been walking to school together since first grade in the most gentrified neighborhood in Idaho. The fifty blocks of formerly blue-collar Victorian, Gothic Revival and Craftsman homes nestled against the nearby mountains drew thirty-somethings from around the country seeking a taste of … Read moreThe Best and the Brightest
Ron’s birth was unlike any the midwives had seen before. His mother, Verdella, said the contractions felt more like firm hugs instead of bands of barbed wire roping around her abdomen. When the baby crowned, light burst from her vagina. As the birth went on the light grew brighter and brighter until the midwives were … Read moreThe Messiah and The Peanut
“Is the pressure washer on full?” “Yes sir!” “That looks like the sad dribble from my granddaddy’s pecker! Double check those boilers and make sure they’re on high!” “Yes sir!” Jensen paused, “And if they’re not sir?” Captain Sterling slowly turned away from the ship’s curved, mountainous bow disappearing into the sky. His bloodshot eyes … Read moreSalty Spice
Space Corps never forgave him for suffering a mutiny.
Bernice could feel the wind pulling the skin away from her body. The vibration from the rocket as it skimmed over the alkali flats was shaking the meat from her bones. Because of the speed she couldn’t raise her arms, so steered with her feet strapped to a pair of pedals gently moving a rudder … Read moreFlying Low