Call me Ishmael, or Ishy for short. Winter is tough for me. I always feel a little down, which aggravates my acid reflux. I’d like to get away somewhere with a sunny beach, but I’m between gigs and unemployment won’t fund a vacation. I saw ads for work on a fishing boat, which sounds perfect. … Read more[email protected]
Sculpting wasn’t that hard Deer. Check. Shoes. Check. Scissors. Check. Man in a suit. Check. You don’t need arms Just a couple of crafty feet.
Jacob woke to a damp and sour world. As his eyes came into focus, he noticed a circling fly come to rest at the edge of a puddle of milk. Jacob couldn’t remember how he got to the floor but was pretty sure he fell. Again. He tried to move, but pain arrested his efforts. … Read moreSpilled Milk
Skuen and his younger brother Kadir stood near the end of a hundred-foot-long wall of peat blocks. With L-shaped spades, they cut out neat bricks of peat, looking like rich chocolate cake, and stacked them to dry in the wind. They worked the bogs year-round, with little change to their day other than the amount … Read moreChocolate Cake
Andrew wiped off his hooves, considering himself in the floor-length, bathroom mirror. “Perhaps some antlers, for balance. Reindeer could work.” Andrew implanted horse hoof stem cells where his feet had been. Some replaced fingernails with talons, others chose bear fur head-to-toe. Alligator skin for some, fly eyes for a few, many chose prehensile tails or … Read moreProgress in a Fashion
Cloth in hand, Donnie cleaned every bottle and lamp. He spent his days at thrift stores, dusting the shelves of discarded bric-a-brac. Clerks nodded hello and left him alone. Born into an uneasy home, Donnie’s differentness increased the strain. His father looked for someone to blame, noticed his wife, and never came home. For decades, … Read moreAnother One Bites the Dust
The white lines of a country highway whizzed under the car as the headlights wobbled about like a set of googly-eyes, but George couldn’t afford to slow down. He knocked the lights loose as he made his escape and caromed off of dumpsters, parked cars, and a building. In the swirling light, he suddenly saw … Read moreA Giant Mess
A pale, weedy man with a severe hunch and baggy clothes stood in the lobby of a trendy restaurant, speaking to a chef festooned with tattoos. “No, it’s not salt water taffy.” “Then why make it in the ocean?” “That’s what I’m trying to tell you. This is something new, a delicacy, a very rare … Read moreThe Better Man
Horace Mangrove stood at the edge of the dry goods counter, patiently waiting his turn. He observed a customer complaining about the quality of the flour purchased a week prior. “It was infested with weevils! My wife nearly died from shock as she made the morning bread and found more weevil than ground … Read moreThe Misfortune of Fortune
“Can you repeat the word please?” “Chihuahua.” “Could you use it in a sentence please?” “The Chihuahua is the smallest breed of dog.” “Chihuahua. C-h-i-h-u-a-h-u-a. Chihuahua.” “That is correct.” Natalee took her seat and focused on appearing calm. Inside, a roaring sea of panic raged, her heart beating against her chest like a rabid baboon … Read moreFailure’s Sting