“I should be working for the Library of Congress,” Dwayne said to his dog Mr. Pickles who was busy pursuing a crumb of bacon under the stove. “I know how to catalog things, and find them again later. Sometimes years later!” Dwayne unboxed a collection of National Geographics he bought at a thrift store. Six … Read moreBibliophile of Neglect
Horace Mangrove stood at the edge of the dry goods counter, patiently waiting his turn. He observed a customer complaining about the quality of the flour purchased a week prior. “It was infested with weevils! My wife nearly died from shock as she made the morning bread and found more weevil than ground … Read moreThe Misfortune of Fortune
“Can you repeat the word please?” “Chihuahua.” “Could you use it in a sentence please?” “The Chihuahua is the smallest breed of dog.” “Chihuahua. C-h-i-h-u-a-h-u-a. Chihuahua.” “That is correct.” Natalee took her seat and focused on appearing calm. Inside, a roaring sea of panic raged, her heart beating against her chest like a rabid baboon … Read moreFailure’s Sting
Jaunty. Surefire. Full of brass. That’s how people described Clint Burnish. His hair and eyebrows stood straight out as if made of brick clay pushed through a sieve. He bathed once a week, his hair shifting about like an unreliable bird’s nest. Most of the time he wore a golden corduroy suit with a matching … Read moreGift Box
All the waters were overflowing, Because of all the rain, Rivers swelled and jumped their banks, The dam—broken from the strain. The townsfolk gathered bundles, As the waters rose and rose, People headed for the higher ground, To escape the deadly flows. But as they hauled possessions, Up the ever-steeper land, If the rain kept … Read moreThe Savior’s Secret Sauce
The beeping started out quiet and high-pitched like the squeak of a violin strike, then grew louder and louder until Tommy had to reduce the gain on his radio or risk breaking the speakers in his tiny headphones. After the beeping peaked, the pitch would dropped like a slooping trombone, as the beeps faded into … Read moreThe Radio and the Russians
Stories of loose tigers hiding in the Boise foothills had been circulating for decades. Much like the legend of Forrest Fenn’s mystery gold hidden somewhere in the Rocky Mountains, the story captured the public’s attention and slightly improved the economy of any burned-out mill and mining town in the region. Catering to modern gold-rushers, one-pump … Read moreTigers of the Valley
Morris reached into the medicine cabinet to retrieve the trustworthy salve he’d been using for the past decade. Just a dab of the stuff cleared things up for weeks. The cap was crusted with dried-out unguent, mixed with dust and a few stray hairs from his beard. The tube seemed to have some secret reserve, … Read moreHealing Hands
As Punter arrived for his shift, he saw his floor boss outside muttering to himself and smoking more aggressively than usual. “What’s up boss?” “That idiot upstairs. He doesn’t know molasses from his asshole.” Although haunted by the image his boss had conjured, Punter understood he was lamenting Augustus Zuckerstiefel Junior, the current president of … Read moreSweet Affliction
Bobby’s clothes smelled like greasy food. He went out for a burger yesterday and the sour smoke from the grill still lingered. The burger wasn’t great, but good enough. And the beers helped. Bobby wasn’t used to eating alone so squeezed into a corner seat out of the other patrons’ view. His buddy Tim had … Read moreNever Alone for Long