Leonard woke to find himself encased head to toe in a plaster cast. He’d seen body wraps like it on TV, usually involving a guy with an itchy nose, but didn’t think they actually used them anymore. He didn’t remember any accident or injury but did recall a plan to an after-hours club with his ex-girlfriend Darla. Good old Darla, such a good sport. After they broke up he gave her the “let’s still be friends” talk, and she bought it. Good old Darla.
He remembered deciding to go to the club, but could only pull up flashes of memory after that: getting out of an Uber, buying a hot dog from a cart, and seeing the club in the distance. But that was it, until he woke up here. How long had it been? He rolled his eyes around the room. As he scanned the walls, he saw a TV mounted on the wall, stainless steel bed rails, no windows, and a whiteboard on the wall that read, “your nurse is ALICE.” He was in a hospital room. There was a sink, and something near the door, maybe a bathroom. An IV hung next to his bed with a tube disappearing into his nose. He didn’t seem to hurt anywhere. He tried to move but only felt his muscles flexing against the plaster. Something had gone wrong, but what? No flowers in the room, so maybe he hadn’t been here long. Where was Darla? He suddenly noticed that he had to pee. He had a brief moment of anxiety, but just as he thought about holding it, the sensation drained away without effort. Catheter. Didn’t even feel it — so many questions.
Just then, a woman in light blue scrubs came in. She was carrying a glass bottle. “I’m so glad to see you awake! Nice to finally meet you, Leonard. My name is Alice.”
Leonard tried to speak but discovered he couldn’t move his jaw.
“That cast is pretty tight, hon. You can’t open your mouth,” she winked at Leonard as she uncapped the bottle. Holding it over his right foot where his toes poked out, she drizzled them with a dark brown liquid. Some leaked onto the cast and stained the brilliant white plaster like India ink.
“It’s my special mix. Barbecue sauce, beef broth and just a bit of bacon grease. Bert and Ernie go wild for it.” She walked out and returned with a wire cage. Inside were two greasy, moth-eaten rats. She held them up to Leonard’s face. They squealed and bit at each other, their little red-rimmed eyes rolling back in a frenzy.
“They haven’t eaten in a week!” She put the cage at the foot of the bed and opened the door. She walked to the whiteboard and wrote something.
Leonard strained against the cast, trying to see what was happening at his feet. Bert and Ernie crept out of the cage, cautious but crazed as they caught a whiff of the sauce on Leonard’s exposed toes. He looked around wildly for the nurse, but she was already leaving. He noticed she had added another message to the whiteboard. Under “your nurse is ALICE” he read, “Get well soon, fucker. Your FRIEND Darla.” Classical music filled the room as the door closed behind her.
Ernie jumped on the cast and followed the scent of the sauce to a vulnerable toe and took a bite. Leonard screamed, but little more than a muffled whine escaped through his nose. Bert’s claws skittered for purchase in the dusty plaster, finally climbing onto Leonard’s other foot and following Bert’s example. They feasted like two starved rats, which of course they were. Leonard didn’t last long, quickly passing out from the pain.
He woke to find his nurse injecting something into his IV line. Leonard started screaming again.
“Are you sure you want to do that, hon? Takes an awful lot of energy to make that much noise. And you need your strength.”
Leonard noticed a metallic taste wash across his tongue and made a sour face.
“That’s the antibiotics you’re tasting. Don’t want you to get an infection from Bert and Ernie, though I think I read somewhere their mouths are cleaner than ours. But better safe than sorry.” Leonard made grunting noises as he tried to speak and gesture with his eyes and face.
“I bet you’re wondering where you are. Darla said I could tell you, so consider yourself lucky. Some of our patients will never know. You remember when “Medicare For All” finally happened? Everything in health care got turned on its head. It became a lot harder for insurance companies and doctors to make money. You probably saw the stories about private clinics for the super-rich. And then all the plastic surgery, homeopathy, spa, and weight loss places that sprang up. There were the sketchier ones for body modification, unapproved treatments for cancer, Alzheimer’s, diabetes and most anything else. Further down the line were the youth restoration clinics with stem cell infusions, organ washing, blood transfusions, skin grafting, and face transplants. But there were still lots of doctors who had student loans to pay. And what about the poor insurance companies? All those cash pay clinics didn’t help them one bit! So some of them teamed up with the left-over doctors and set up extra-special, specialty clinics.”
The nurse hung a bag of mocha-colored liquid. Leonard watched it speed through the tube toward his nose. He figured it was his lunch.
“You’re in an organ donation and revenge clinic.” Leonard furrowed his brow. “I know, it sounds weird, right? Lots of strange stuff on the dark web.” She took a look at the side of his bed and made a clicking sound. “Looks like we’ll have to get you a fresh urine bag. But that’s good, means your hydrated and your kidneys still work. Some of our patients don’t get any water at all. Anyhoo, our clinic harvests organs, skin, eyes, or whatever else people want. You can sell a kidney or one of your lungs, a foot, some skin—whatever you’re willing to part with. And it pays pretty good. Of course, those ex-insurance types get their cut for running the business side of things.” She took a bottle from her pocket and poured more of the brown sauce on Leonard’s hamburger toes. The vinegar and salt burned like hot needles.
“With the revenge side of the business, someone is mad at you, or in love with you, or whatever, and we starve them or cut off their privates or have rats eat them alive. Whatever the customer wants. The only catch is that we get to harvest any leftovers. Waste not want not!”
Leonard again heard classical music coming from some hidden speakers. He made faces and mumbled at Alice, trying to ask her what it meant.
“The music? Oh, that means Darla is watching. There are little webcams all around the room. Anytime she starts streaming the music comes on so you’ll know. Sorry I didn’t tell you earlier. I’d lose my head if it weren’t attached.” She brought the caged rats up from the floor and again set Bert and Ernie on the bed. This time they didn’t hesitate, both jumping with glee for Leonard’s saucy piggies.